Last year, on April 1st, I announced that I was running for office and would build my campaign around the issues listed below. With the whole pg thing, I decided that now probably wasn't the time and I didn't end up going for it. Still, as I prepare to place my Republican vote today, I am saddened that nobody is addressing any of the issues and/or priorities that I had planned to take forward. As a reminder, some of the items I was planning on working on were as follows:
*Sponsor an environmental impact report on Mayonnaise factories. Promote Ketchup as the most environmental friendly condiment
*Menu management for emergency shelters making Funeral Potatoes the preferred meal
*Building Relationships with local authorities through innovate photography
*Implementation of easily identifiable (Yellow) Emergency Phones in public areas
*Coast Guard preparedness for when the tide is high
*Stringent controls for the distribution of platinum cards
*Improvement standards for public restrooms
*22 ways to improve your public image
*Imposing reasonable expiration dates on all state drivers licenses (This will be a big change for AZ)
I was also planning on introducing the following two bills:
(1) Freedom Talker-Obtaining FAA approval for the use of mobile phones on all domestic flights(2) Blackberries For Everyone-It doesn’t matter your race, sex, age or whether you are an illegal alien. I want everyone to know what it’s like to have a blackberry. No child should need to worry where their next text message is coming from.
Lastly, don't forget to vote!
8 comments:
I love the issues you brought up. I will totally vote for you when you run! America for Ketchup! Gotta love it! Maybe we should add an item to the Blackberries for Everyone: along with a Blackberry, every indivisual gets a personalized "Please do not..." sign that they can hang wherever they so choose!
I am so bummed that you did not run this year. The issues that you have outlined are the truly important ones. I think if they were taken care of, everything else would fall into place. I think the war would go away if everyone would switch to ketchup. It just makes people happier. And surely healthcare costs would become more reasonable if there was better menu management at emergency shelters. And you would think the crime rate would go down if public officials were better trained in discrete photography.
I got my birthday when I was 16y and 1 day. (My birthday was on a Sunday, and it broke my heart to wait until Monday, but at least my mom let me miss school).
Anyway, I still have my license. My expiration date 2004. I am not going to get rid of that luxury. Sorry, Ms. President.
I don't get the AZ reference...
But this cracked me up...thanks!
kim ann, I need your mailing address. found a pg-related item I just have to pass on. Text it to me!
Also, nyeah nyeah you've got lame candidates!!!
Mo Romney vs John McLame,
The Matchup of the Century.
Ooops, did I forget Mike Huckleberry?!?! These guys could be the new 3 stooges!
Kim, Too funny! I think it would only be fitting then for Sydney to be born on April 1...not a bad b'day to have...Princess was born that day.
Kim, the AZ license expiration dates have changed. When D got his license re-instated after the Sheriff Joe debacle, his license no longer expired in 2038, it's now only good until 2012. Mine still says 2037, but they will likely change it if I go in to update the picture.
Secret: Jane didnt vote
(oh wait once more than two people know, its not a secret. Neither would anything else if everyone was talking on a closed plane).
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